The Death Eaters Letters & Wacked-Out Adventures ((Crack)) (( Hiatus )
by Kagayaita Eternal
Summary: After that certain owl incident, Lord Voldemort once again built up a new postal service (with memos) for his Death Eaters and him to send about anything to anyone. But things somehow turned up wrong... and many wondrous adventures starts appearing! ((Warning: OCC, Crack FanFic)) ((No Pairings, except Married Couples))
1. Chapter 1

Dear all Loyal Death Eaters,

I'm pleased to annouce that our Death Eater Postal Service has been restored after that certain incident with the owls.

Now we are switch using the Ministry Memos.

Now, first of all, I need _that_ _someone_ to clean up the pukey mess from that dreadful dinner we had last night. (Bellatrix you are not cooking for us again!)

Its really creating an unpleasant smell for all of us. So _that someone_ better clean it up before _that someone_ will get punished.

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort

P.S: _That someone is you, Wormtail._


	2. Chapter 2

The Dark Lord,

Sorry to offend of some sort. I just wanted to ask you: Why didn't you use House-Elves do the dirty work other than Wormtail?

I mean I know you he hated the scum of a rat but aren't we those kind of people who loves to toture House-Elves?

If the thought had never crossed over your mind may _we_ suggest it?

It will be fun to bully them around since it's quite boring

around here...nothing to do... until that Potter makes a move, though... it will take ages though...so please ease _our _boredom for once?

Your faithful loyal servant,

Bellatrix Lestrange


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Bellatrix,

I understand that you are all in pain of this awaiting boredom but I have a bad history with House-Elves that I will never mention it to anyone!

And the Black Family did had a House-Elf did they? Why not use him? I mean your cousin, Sirius is long dead.

Your Lord,

Voldemort


	4. Chapter 4

My Lord,

But my wretched cousin, given everything to that Potter brat! I own nothing now!

And what do you mean by that incident with the House-Elves, does it involve your nose?

Your faithful loyal servant,

Bellatrix Lestrange


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Bellatrix,

I said I never want to mention it!

And I told you that talking about my nose or its disappearances is taboo!

If you are that bored, go bother you nephew or brother-in-law.

Your Lord,

Lord Voldemort

P.S: Seriously?! He gave everything to that Potter?!


	6. Chapter 6

My Lord,

May I ask you why is Wormtail and Mr. Crouch running around the corridor with Tom and Jerry outfits?

And Lucious yelping about his hair gone green?

And Draco doesn't want to leave the closet since he states he has his 'useless Emo Depression'.

And Greyback is acting like a dog (he's a werewolf... close enough).

Not to mention the kitchen is on fire!

What the BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?!

Your trustworthy servant,

Severus Snape


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Severus,

DAMNIT BELLATRIX! MY JELLY BEAN COLLECTION ALL GONE!

Your very angry Lord,

Voldemort

P.S: Is Draco an emo?

* * *

A/N: I will continue this tomorrow so anyway, please review, like and comment. And please suggest any ideas if you like.


	8. Chapter 8

Death Eaters Memos

My Lord,

Do not need to worry, we managed to keep the fire at bay.

Given Lucious his required conditioner.

Put Greyback, Crouch and Wormtail on a leash. (as well as for Bellatrix)

The only thing left to do is to convinced Draco out of the closet, which Narcissa is handling it right now.

Rest at ease, I will handle it.

Your Trustworthy Servant,

Severus Snape


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Severus,

Oh thank goodness, I was about to wet myself. (Crazy Woman Bellatrix is she)

Good Job, Severus, I knew I could trust you.

So about my Jellybean Collection?

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	10. Chapter 10

My Lord,

…...

Your Trustworthy Servant,

Severus Snape

P.S: You almost wet yourself?


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Severus,

Well, spit it out, Severus! I don't have time to wait for the grass to grow!

The Impatient Dark Lord,

Voldemort

P.S: I have a weak bladder... and it will worsen if I panic.

P.S.S: It does not involve my nose, Bellatrix told me that you're quite interested to find but even though I trust you the most, I WILL NEVER TELL ANYONE!


	12. Chapter 12

My Lord,

My deepest apologies, my Lord. Well...um... see... the ...um... the melted... and quite they flooded... the kitchen... with sugary liquid

Your Trustworthy Servant,

Severus Snape

P.S: Since when did I have an interest in your missing nose? And Bellatrix is obviously lying!

* * *

A/N: Wait, can Jellybeans melt? XD


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Severus,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALLLLLLL THOSSSSEEEE YEARSSS OF COLLLLECTTTING THEMMMMMMM! ALLLLLLL GONNNNEEEE!

DAMINT BELLATRIX!

Your Very Angry Dark Lord,

Voldemort

P.S: I will keep my eye on you...nose detective...

* * *

A/N: Nose Detective sounds lame but I tried...


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Severus,

Thanks for the reverse hair dye conditioner, it really helps.

Quite Satisfied,

Lucious Malfoy

P.S: Can you hear screaming?


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Lucious,

The Dark Lord has just lost his marbles. Please give him a moment to return to his senses.

In the meantime, help me tie up your sister-in-law. She's been causing a big fuss, today.

Overly Annoyed,

Severus Snape

P.S: Please don't ask, just do it...


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Severus,

CAN YOU PLEASE UNTIE?

Very Pissed,

Barty Crouch Jr.

P.S: Wormtail got his nasty slim all over me.


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Mr. Crouch,

No

Uncaring,

Severus Snape


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Severus,

I have finally gained inner peace, once again.

Please tied Bellatrix to a stick and leave her there.

The (Overly Insane, Clam) Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	19. Chapter 19

My Lord,

May I ask you to request Snape to untie me?

Kindly Asked,

Barty Crouch Jr.


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Barty,

No. Have you seen Wormtail? I really need something to kick.

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	21. Chapter 21

My Lord,

He is right here, tied next to me. If you only just ask Snape to untie me, I will bring the unworthy git for you.

Being Very Generous,

Barty Crouch Jr.


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Barty,

Fine, if you insist.

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Severus,

May I request you to untie Barty and Wormtail, immediately.

Barty kept bugging me about it.

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	24. Chapter 24

My Lord,

We are now handling the insane Bellatrix Lestrange, who bitten Lucious's hand off and stomped on Avery's feet.

Please ask someone else to do it, My Lord.

Your Trustworthy Servant,

Severus Snape

P.S: She just spat at me…

P.S.S:I wonder what Rodolphus see in that woman...


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Barty,

I tried…..

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort

P.S: Snape is a really demanding person...


	26. Chapter 26

My Lord,

Come on, I know that temptation of yours that you really want to kick Wormtail.

Tempting,

Barty Crouch Jr.

P.S:It's so very tempting.


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Barty,

Barty, now you make me sound gay with Wormtail which is unbearable on so many levels for our viewers.

But you are right, I do have the huge temptation to kick the snot out of him.

Fine, I will do it myself.

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort

P.S: There aren't any Death Eaters around since all of them is helping out in taking care of Bellatrix.

P.S.S: I think I might spent too much time in my office. (Damned Muggle Pokeman Games!)

P.S.S.S: I may need to take the bath…..

P.S.S.S.S: Also I wonder what Rodolphus sees in that woman...


	28. Chapter 28

Dear Barty,

Explain to me, why are you and Wormtail wearing Tom and Jerry Costumes?

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	29. Chapter 29

My Lord,

We are right net to each other. Why don't we just use our voices to talk for examples?

Confused,

Barty Crouch Jr.

P.S: About the costumes, Bellatrix dared us to wear it.

—

A/N: Tom (Barty) Jerry (Wormtail)


	30. Chapter 30

Dear Barty,

I'm having a sore throat, Barty, after repeatedly yelling 'Go! [Insert any Pokemon]!' all day.

The Dark Pokemon Master,

Voldemort

P.S: Also I'm a bit lazy...


	31. Chapter 31

My Lord,

What's a Pokemon?

Very Confused,

Barty Crouch Junior.


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Barty,

Ohhhh Myyyyy Godddd?!

Youdon'tknow!?tsthemostamazing thingintheuniverse!

The Dark Pokemon Master,

Voldemort

P.S: How are you writing to me when you are tied up like that?


	33. Chapter 33

My Lord,

…

Your Really Confused Servant,

Barty Crouch Jr

P.S I uses my toenails, can't you see that my messages are written in blood?!

P.S.S: Just hurry up and untie me! The git need to use the loo. And you know what happen if he doesn't make. Yay, perfectly a bad day for me.


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Barty,

Fine, you Pokemon Hater. Don't need to be all grumpy, you are becoming more like Severus...

The Dark Pokemon Master,

Voldemort


	35. Chapter 35

My Lord,

I'm nothing like that nosed emo freak.

Your Freed Servant,

Barty Crouch Jr.


	36. Chapter 36

My Lord,

We successfully tied up Bellatrix. (After a few hours of beating, spitting and biting.)

Also Wormtail is taking up his time in the bathroom. He must know that they are certain people waiting.

Your Trustworthy (Urgent-Need-To-Pee) Servant,

Severus Snape


	37. Chapter 37

Dear Severus,

Just drag that scum out of there! And bring him to me. I really need a kicking bag, right now….

The Dark Pokemon Master,

Voldemort


	38. Chapter 38

My Lord,

He seem to escape through the window. (I wonder how he fit in that small window sill compared from his ass size.) He left the bathroom a mess.

It's quite disgusting, and what's that unnerving smell? Smells worse than the aftermath of Bellatrix's dinner.

Your Trustworthy (Disgusted) Servant,

P.S: I'm really disgusted (and doesn't seem to care about Wormtail's escape.)

P.S.S: What's a Pokemon?


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Severus,

NOOOOOOO, MY KICKING BAG! BRING THE HOUNDS (Greyback actually) HERE! WE NEED TOOOO HUNNNT HIM DOOOWNN!

The Dark (Distressed) Pokemon Master,

Voldemort

P.S: Oh! Not you too, Severus! I seriously need to give you minions a Pokemon Lecture.

P.S.S: Can you compare the bathroom mess with your greasy hair? LOL


	40. Chapter 40

My Lord,

I'm currently doing my own business (unclogging the toilet). Just ask someone else to do it!

Your Trustworthy (About to Wet Himself) Servant,

Severus Snape

P.S: God, no. Not another silly Muggle Lecture. I already had enough that Barbie Lecture. Especially, that song still stuck in my head, I couldn't even teach in class properly again without mumbling some of the lyrics! It's embarrassing! (The Barbie Girl One)

P.S.S: MY HAIR IS NOT GREASY! Why is everyone so interested in my hair's status?


	41. Chapter 41

Dear Severus,

You are such a Grumpy Pants….Fine, I will ask Lucious and Dolohov to do it!

The Dark Pokemon Master,

Voldemort

P.S: Barbie is awesome! And marks my words, I will make another lecture and you will come, whether you like it or not!

P.S.S: Yay, that's the same interest you have with my nose. I am watching you, Severus.


	42. Chapter 42

Dear Lucious,

Severus is currently busy doing his own business, can you please fetch over Wormtail for me ,it happens so that he escaped while taking his time in the loo. Also take Dolohov and Greyback (the hound) with you.

The Dark Pokemon Master,

Voldemort

P.S: NO! You SHALL NOT question the Pokemon. (Barty and Severus already tick me off)


	43. ((CHAPTERS TITLES! ARE NOW EDITED!))

A/N:

((Sorry, for the long HIATUS. Having Internet Issues...but it's fixed!)) ((Just for that, I added in a little special...for you readers))

((And also do mind the craziness in this FanFic...cuz...My Death Eater Fandom...is becoming weirder and weirder...))

((Continuing on...Hope you like it, please give feedback if you want to and continuing reading on!~))

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

~The Lucius Diaries~

Wilderness Adventure

Day 1

The Dark Lord ordered Dolohov and Greyback to hunt down Wormtail who escaped through the toilet window late last night. They should really add more toilets and how would a fat git like him fit that tiny window? Anyhow, the trip is going fine, Greyback acts as our little pup to sniff him but I won't dare call him that out loud or else I will have a human mutt after me. Dolohov…..is really quiet….usually back in Death Eater HQ, he was always singing these annoying songs that everyone including me couldn't get out of heads….and I remember I sang one in the shower…..I was absolutely embarrassed since Draco and Narcissa was eavesdropping in…..they said my singing was….great…weird…..

Day 2

Still no sign of that fat git, and my hair is still silky as always. I do wake up early in the morning and do a little brushing and so. I could go on about my hair care but let's continue on our journey to find that brat. Greyback seems to love rabbits…..and I mean killing them….with his bare teeth….even though he isn't in his werewolf cycle yet….. Draco would be upset since…he loved bunnies or ferrets or whatever animal….he decorated his room with…..

Day 3

Yet no sign of Wormtail, I mean he must be tired now, how long would those short pair of legs of his carry him with that big of a lump pf a body he has. Dolohov seems awful tired since I asked him to watch on guard every night since I do need my beauty sleep and all to look fashionable the next day and so….. And we are quite hungry now….at least we got magic to pop out food whenever we want to dig in…and some of Greyback's freshly murdered rabbits (which could be infected with werewolf germs)….that he doesn't want to share with us…. Now he is baring his teeth at us every 5 minutes….I am starting to get worried…

Day 4

We are in a very dire situation…..Greyback broke our wands after all that fuss of not sharing the rabbits..…..I mean I just bought that Premium Specially Limited Cameral Coloured Wand that goes so well with my hair…. but it just broke….like matchsticks…. I wonder why didn't they make wands out of steel or so …not…just some….plain plank of wood…. I should write about wands complaint when I go back to the Ministry, or perhaps to the Lord since….he is in control now….

Day 5

My hair is starting to get fuzzy because of the weird weather conditions in this never ending forests….that lasts forever….same goes for Wormtail's puny legs…Thank Goodness, I brought an Emergency Hair Aid Pack….and Bellatrix says it's so unnecessary…. And call me a feminine man….and so on….What kind of Sister-In-Law is she? Narcissa goes on about how nice she was but in reality….I can't even put into words….Last time, I asked her to babysit Draco….he wouldn't come out of his room…for weeks….I wonder how my wife can live with a sister like that…..I would probably commit suicide by then and I hope she doesn't peek into my diary or else she will be the one who will makes me commit suicide….

* * *

A/N: So that's that...and back to the letters in the next chapter...


	44. The Dark Lord is bored and asks Snape

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

Dear Severus,

I'm bored! It's been 5 Days since Lucius, Dolohov and Greyback has started hunting for that ungrateful git….maybe they are slacking off….

Severus, this is an order, take Narcissa, Bellatrix and every Death Eater you could find, join up with Lucius and the others up there and hunt down that fatso but if you guys fail….you guys can never come back here again! Or else you want your death wish granted….

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	45. Snape denies

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

My Lord,

This is outrages! We can find a replacement for Wormtail but dragging all the Death Eaters out in the wilderness to track down a single fat lumpy man who can't even have a healthy meal once in his life.

My Lord, please reconsider this…..you can't just kill us if we don't find him….maybe he already escaped and live in the Hawaiian Islands of some sort….

I begging you to reconsider this order….

Your Trustworthy Servant,

Severus Snape


	46. The Dark Lord threatens

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

Dear Severus,

Enough! You will follow these orders or else your dead bodies will pile up one by one if you don't start hunting in the next 45 minutes! Now go!

The Dark Lord,

Voldemort


	47. Bellatrix's Warning

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

Dear Severus,

We are blaming you on angering the Dark Lord….

The Person that Hates you the Most,

Bellatrix Lestrange


	48. We left DRACO!

**A/N: **A bit of action in this one!~ :3

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling ((And I Do Not Own the "Adventure of Flapjack" or "Big".

* * *

"How much longer, Lucius?" asked Dolohov, exhausted.

"Well, how much longer Greyback?" asked Lucius, quite exhausted as well.

Greyback sniffed the ground throughly, stiffen for bit and spoke "We are getting closer."

Dolohov let out a sigh and Lucius angrily grunted, "You just said that 5 hours ago!"

Greyback ignored the 2 and spotted a rabbit hopping off in the distance, "Oi! Come back! You little git!"

He ran off to chase the rabbit but dragged Lucius along with him, who was holding on the other end of his leash.

"Greyback! Stop! You are getting dirt in my hair," spit out Lucius, being dragged away by a mad hound.

Dolohov felt like laughing but was too tired to even blink and he simply sat down while watching Lucius getting dragged like a lawnmower.

In a sudden 'zap', Dolohov was fallen over to the ground, face first.

"Oi! Who goes there?!" stood up Dolohov, dusting dirt off his face and clothes.

"It's just us, you dimwit!" squealed a rather annoying female voice.

Dolohov recognised the voice immediately and turned around.

"Bellatrix? Snape? Narcissa?" spoken off Dolohov in shock, "What are you doing all here?"

"Narcissa! Help me!" shouted Lucius, still dragged off by the werewolf.

"Hold on that thought….," said Narcissa, who looked at Greyback and give him a sudden whistle.

Greyback immediately stopped and froze there, Lucius on the other hand, released the leash from his grip at the wrong moment, flew off the ground and hit a nearby tree.

Bellatrix gave a wicked laugh, Nacrissa gasped and ran over to her husband's rescue and Snape was expressionless as ever.

Dolohov laughed a bit and once again repeated the question, "So why are you all doing here?"

"Dark Lord's orders, he wanted the Wormtail Hunt to be our first priority….and if we do not obey or if we ever step into that house again with no Wormtail…there's will be a death penalty…," said Snape, in his usual monotone voice.

"What?!" shouted Lucius, becoming more furious, "That is my estate! He can't just kick me out!"

"Lucius, calm down," reassured Narcissa, supporting her husband, who started throwing a fit.

Dolohov suddenly fall to the ground and cried, "Now, I never know if they went to candy island..in the 'The Misadventure of Flapjack'."

"Was that show cancelled years ago? And since when you were watching Muggles' Children Shows?" asked Bellatrix.

Dolohov's expression changed into shock, "Is that a bad thing that I hid a Muggle's Television in my room"

"High-Five!" squealed Bellatrix, pulled out her palm.

He pulled out his palm and gave her a high five.

"Looks like I am not the only one…," said Snape, looking at them.

"You watch Muggle's TV too, Snose?" questioned Bellatrix, curious.

"I told you not to call me that," irritated Snape, "And yes, I enjoying watching those Korean Dramas…."

"Same as well….," shocked Bellatrix.

"At least, we have something in common for once," said Snape, "BTW, have you watched the one with the soul switching and car accident?"

"Yes, I do!" squealed Bellatrix.

Before any longer one of their conversation started, Nacrissa gave a scream.

"Cissy! What's wrong?!" bellowed Bellatrix.

"We left Draco behind!" yelped Nacrissa.

-Meanwhile at Le Malfoy Manor-

"Mother, I finished organising my room like you asked...…," said Draco, as he enter the living room, to find it deserted, "Mother?"

Draco looked from room to room and everyone else. He found out the manor was completely deserted. (except for the Dark Lord who is busy taking a bath with Nagini).

"I am home alone….," thought Draco.

Draco goes over to main balcony and smirked, "I can whatever I want now….."

* * *

**A/N: **Lucius's Diaries will return next time!~ :D And I did want Mr. Snape &amp; Mrs. Lestrange to be a fan of Korean Dramas just cuz XD. Sowwy~

And sowwy for the writing format, I will improve it next time! When I get on my real PC!~


	49. The Lucius's Diaries - His Worries

**Disclaimer****: **Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

~Lucius's Diaries~

**_Day 6_**

Today was an absolutely awful day. The Dark Lord ordered all the Death Eaters to search for that fat git or else we will face death if we dare step in that house again without the fat git….Just how much does the Dark Lord loves that fat pig? And to make matters worse, that house is my house, just the hell with it! And to make matters even worse….my hair is in a very bad shape and my sister-in-law sat on my only brush…..

My dumb wife keeps panicking since she left our 17-year-old son home and she worried sick about him. I feel like just bitch slapping her to make her realize that Draco is a grown man already and I know he can be independent for once….and I realised he had those emo mood swings…..well at least Bellatrix wouldn't be there to make it worse… .

But I am worried about the Manor's condition… I mean what harm will happen to it?

Oh well,I trust Draco in keeping the Manor in good condition….

But I still feel uneasy…..

* * *

**A/N: **More action will commence in the next chapter!~


	50. Slytherin House Party in Malfoy Manor

**Disclaimer****: **Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

Booming music, many shades of green headlights and the Slytherin House on the dance floor. Draco's party was going well and he was enjoying himself, sitting the Dark Lord's throne, fiddling with his father's cane, feeling like a prince.

While that, the Dark Lord was also enjoying his time in the bath tub, taking a delightful bubble bath with his pet snake,Nagini, while listening to Snakes Classics from his headset, totally unaware of the chaos outside. But he will know sooner or later…

-Meanwhile at Le Random Forest-

"Dolohov! Will you stop singing those annoying camp fire songs!" exploded Lucius, couldn't take any of this anymore.

Dolohov ignored him and continued on his tune, along with Bellatrix, mainly to annoy Lucius and Snape.

Lucius covers his ears with his hand in frustration, Snape couldn't handle it as well and stuffed dirt into his ear.

"Bella, Dolohov," spoken Narcissa, worried for her husband, "I think that's enough….."

Bellatrix angrily grunted and stopped as well for Dolohov.

"Thank goodness, it's over," said Lucius, in relief.

"Severus, it's over now, you can stop stuffing dirt into your ears," reassured Narcissa.

"What? What language are you speaking in?" replied Snape, as he try to remove the dirt out of his ears, "…Damnit, the dirt wouldn't come out!"

Bellatirx gave out a chuckle, "Now, he is deaf!"

Narcissa sighed and Lucius senses something weird.

"Why am I getting the feeling someone is ruining my brush collection?" spoken Lucius, worried.

"Why are you fucking someone is rumbling my bewbs collection?" repeated Snape, wrongly.

Bellatrix laughed hard along with Dolohov.

-Back at Le Malfoy Manor-

Voldemort finished his bath, still listening to Snakes Classics, and brought over a towel to cover his private area and about to turn over the door knob. Nagini tagging along with him, sensed something wrong and spoke to him in Parseltongue, "Master, I sensed a lot of teenagers outside….and I would advise caution..."

"Oh silly, Nagini, why would teenagers be doing here? The manor was deserted and we are the only ones left….," replied Voldemort, in Parseltongue, ignored Nagini's caution and turned over the doorknob, thus opening it to be smack in the face with a champagne bottle and fallen over back to the bathroom door. Nagini simply tail-palm.

But the Dark Lord stood up once again and looked around to find the culprit but they seemed to run away after seeing his face. It seemed they was indeed, scared of the very Dark Lord standing there, thought Voldemort, giving a proud smile to himself. The smile faded as he wondered how they entered in. His question was answered when he hear the booming music outside.

He goes over to the keyhole to the living room to see what's happening, apparently someone's ass was blocking his view. He grunted and decided to open the door, with Nagini on his tail. To his shock, he was surrounded by a crowd of teenagers.

"Dude, nice cosplay! You look exactly like that Bald douche," spoken a fat teenager.

"Excuse me, Bald douche? Cosplay?" said Voldemort in confusion and anger.

"Take a chill pill, dude, it's my opinion," said the fat one, sipping on his drink.

Voldemort had been angered and that will be the only mistake that everyone had done in their lifetime if they ever anger him. He took out his wand but he didn't notice he was holding a banana.

The fat teenager wasn't impressed and walked away due to boredom.

Voldemort wondered why didn't he fear him and looked at his hand, shocked to find out he was holding a banana.

"Where is my wand?" shocked Voldemort, looking at Nagini.

Nagini shook her head, and said, "I didn't took it."

Voldemort threw down the banana on the ground in frustration and immediately look for the person behind this chaos, instead he spilled off the banana he threw and cracked his back.

"Nagini, help!" he whined in pain.

The snake sighed and went over to his rescue.

* * *

A/N: Draco's Party is going well...but soon a certain someone will appear-?! *Coughs* Sowwy!~ The spoilers will be relieved in the next!


	51. Draco Malfoy gonna get it

**A/N:** I'm sorry for the months' wait, I sometimes have random Writers' Block and School Stuff to do. I will assure, I will try my best to keep writing on.

* * *

**Disclaimer****: **Harry Potter (**C**) J.K Rowling

* * *

Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince and the person behind this party was still lounging on the throne until a sudden fan girlish squeal interrupted him.

"Drakkie! I missed you!" squealed a familiar voice.

Draco looked from a far and realised it was Pansy, his annoying stalker. He got up and jumped into the crowd to hide from her.

"And I thought I got rid of her when I left Hogswart for good," whispered Draco to himself, crouching down and looking for a hiding spot.

"Drakkie! I will find you!" shouted the stalker.

Draco decided to go over the balcony area and hide in the secret compartment, his father used to hide his expensive wine from his mother. The compartment was quite big and he could fit it, after hiding from his crazy aunt last week.

Meanwhile, the Dark Lord, in a terribly bad mood and having a very sore back, went about in crowd, looking for the one behind all of this nonsense. But he did appreciate the Slytherin Decorations, ones house's pride must make one proud of it.

He decided to ask a butch of Slytherin Girls, standing next to the buffet table.

"Excuse me, do you know who's hosting this party?" asked the Dark Lord, still wearing his bath robe, not realising how wrong he was when on asking these girls.

"OMG! IT'S THE DARK LORD!" exclaimed the skinny girl.

"OMG!OMG!OMG! CAN I LICK YOU?!" squealed another rather pig face one.

Voldemort was about to shoot them a face of disgust and suddenly realised….they were fangirls as they were ready to glomp him, with their hands intact on "fangirl claw mode".

"SLITHER! NAGINI! SLITHER AS YOUR LITTLE TAIL CAN HOLD YOU!" yelled Voldemort, in either a mixture of Parseltounge and English.

Nagini jumped onto the Voldemort's back and they both escaped the "glomming of terror" and rushed into the crowd of dancing people. The fangirls were high on their heels.

"What should we do, master?" asked Nagini, wrapping herself on her master's neck.

"I know a perfect place where to have for the time being," he spoke back, pushing off people who was dancing.

That "perfect place" was the wine secret compartment where he and Lucius kept their wine away from Narcissa and the others, and the same hiding spot where the host of this party, Draco Malfoy, is hiding from his stalker.

Moving on to him….

Draco reached the balcony area, goes along to the stair railing end and slide into the secret compartment without anyone noticing, but if they did, well that doesn't it matter. As he crawled into the dim,small compartment, he collided into something.

"Watch it!" it hissed.

"Who's there?" Draco stated, whipping out his wand to light up the compartment and to his shock, it was the Dark Lord, in a bathrobe (which made him highly disgusted).

"Malfoy Junior?" questioned Voldemort, "What are you exactly doing here? Didn't you get the message that was sent 30 minutes ago? And what's going on outside? Also what's up with your clothes?"

Draco opened in his mouth to answer but was interrupted screams of excitement.

"What the bloody hell?" confused the Lord, "Scoot over, Malfoy, I will deal with you later…"

Voldemort popped his head out from the compartment to get a peek from the party and failed to see a thing as the fat guy from before, decided to block his view of it's ass.

"Bugger…I can't see a damn thing," spoke Voldemort in dismay.

Draco took this chance to push over the Dark Lord into the crowd, knowing that he will get cruico-ed for it and ran off into the swarm of people.

The Dark Lord didn't like to be pushed and decided to chase after the little Malfoy git for that and suddenly realises that it was HIS party.

"DRACO MALFOY!" the Lord's Voice echoed through the walls.

Meanwhile, Draco continuously pushed off the way and merely running without a plan.

'What the bugger should I do now?' thought Draco, "If he catches, he will turn me into a FERRET!"

Draco shivered from memory of the torture he obtained when he failed to assassinate Dumbledore.

"DRAKKIE!" squeled a familiar voice.

"Oh great, now her too."

Draco finally withdrawn a halt as he was cornered at the of the balcony.

"Now, what am I suppose to do?" thought Draco, in frustration.

"DRACO!" the two pursuer lunged at him at the same time and instantly knocking each other off.

Draco ducked over the collision of the two.

"Watch, where you are going, BALD SCUM BAG!" yelled Pansy at the snake-like Dark Lord, not knowing it was him.

"Do you know who are talking to?" shouted the Dark Lord, in anger.

Pansy dusted herself off and looked up towards the all Great and powerful Dark Lord.

"The-?! The Dark Lord?" whimpered Pansy, "Oh please forgive me."

"Forgive you?" laughed Voldemort, "Look what you have done to Nagini!"

The poor snake landed into someone's punch drink, that person simply threw her and his drink into the air. In result, she and the drink splattered on the young Malfoy standing before them.

"Oh great, now my best suit is ruined and got a snake on me," thought Draco.

"Oh, please, please. Don't kill me-?!"

"Avada KEDVRA!" The green jet shot out from the Lord's wand and Pansy dropped dead on the floor.

Once in Draco Malfoy's Death Eater Career, he was overwhelming happy, to be free from the stalker.

"Oh there's my wand," spoken the Dark Lord, "Oh well, now….."

Voldemort turned over to face the young Malfoy.

Malfoy's thought came back together when he realised he was still in danger of turning into a ferret.

"My Lord, I-I ca-an ex-plain?!" mumbled Draco.

Before Lord Voldemort began to open his mouth, music entered their ears.

"Oh my Gawd, is that the Weird Sisters?" the Dark Lord squirmed and pushed the crowd to see a better view of the Weird Sisters giving a live performance, right here, in the Malfoy Manor.

Draco then recalled that the Dark Lord was a big fan of the Weird Sisters.

"You are FORGIVEN, Malfoy Junior," screamed the Dark Lord as he pushed people on the ground or crucioing his way to get on stage with the Weird Sisters and singing along.

Malfoy sighed in relief and laid on the ground.

He wasn't going to turn into a ferret after all.

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**A/N: **Thank you for your patience and for reading this chapter. Please do Fav and Follow if you like this FanFiction Very Much. And Reviews are always helpful to keep me going!


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